PUNTASTIC PUNS
What do you say when you’re having dinner with a skeleton?
Bone appetit!
Why do vampires use mouthwash?
They have bat breath.
Who did Dracula take to the school dance?
His ghoul friend.
Why was the skeleton so into ceramics class?
He loved making skullptures.
What do skeleton’s use to text?
A Cell-bone.
Where do ghosts go on vacation?
Mali-boo.
RIDDLE ME
A man is washing windows on the 25th floor of an apartment building. Suddenly, he slips and falls. He has nothing to cushion his fall, and no safety equipment—but he doesn't get hurt. How is this possible?
He's washing windows inside the building.
I'm the size of an elephant, but I weigh nothing. What am I?
An elephant's shadow!
You can break me without touching me, or even seeing me. What am I?
A promise.
THIS OR THAT?
PUNTASTIC PUNS
Why wouldn’t the skeleton go in the haunted house?
He had no guts.
Why was the skeleton lonely?
He had nobody.
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Why don't programmers like nature?
It has too many bugs.
My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
A relief map shows where the restrooms are.
I don't get people who stumble into mirrors. They need to watch themselves.
RIDDLE ME
Who makes it, has no need for it.
Who buys it, has no use for it.
Who uses it can neither see nor feel it.
What is it?
A coffin.
I’m tall when I’m young, and
I’m short when I’m old.
What am I?
A candle.
You can drop me from the tallest building, and I’ll be fine,
but if you drop me in water, I die.
What am I?
Paper.
Paul’s height is 6 feet,
He’s an assistant at a butcher’s shop,
and wears size 9 shoes.
What does he weigh?
Meat.
There was a green house.
Inside the green house, there was a white house.
Inside the white house, there was a red house.
Inside the red house, there were lots of babies.
What is it?
Watermelon.
Mr. Harkness has decided to jump off a 12 storey building.
For reasons, decency prevents us from disclosing,
and yet he doesn’t die. How did he survive?
He simply jumped from the 1st floor.
Nothing implied he tried to commit suicide.
Maybe he was just escaping something or someone.
Franco was found dead in his home in a pool of blood.
It was confirmed without a doubt that he was the one who drew
the big question mark on the wall and the word “Smith” underneath it.
Sophia was meeting with her lawyer since she had been wrongfully accused of murder.
Matt was watching sci-fi show all day long and heard nothing.
Sarah Jane was painting in the attic and swore her red stains were paint related.
Will was driving downtown looking for his missing dog, Frank.
Mark was also looking for the pug all day long in a nearby park.
Who would you question more?
Mark. The clue Franco left behind was literally: Question Mark Smith.
THIS
OR
THAT?
Do You Know What You Like?
Let's Find Out !
Puntastic Puns
Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’ve never met herbivore.
What's the most slippery city in the world?
Greece.
Which country's capital has the fastest-growing populations.?
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.
Why do you hate collecting clocks for your belt?"
Because it's a waist of time.
Why does Peter Pan kept falling?
Because he "never lands.”
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi.
Don't trust an atom
It makes up everything.
Wanna hear a joke about sodium and hydrogen?
NaH.
Riddle Me
I have many faces, expressions, and emotions and am only one tap away. What am I?
Emojis.
I have hands, yet I cannot shake your hand, cannot give you five, and have no fingers. What am I?
A clock.
You can always see me, yet never touch me. You can move towards me and I will always stay away at the same distance. You can run away from me, yet I will follow you still at the same distance.
The Horizon.
The news was out. Mr. Gently had been killed on Sunday afternoon. The police had 5 suspects to question. Bart, his wife, was reading part 4 of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” trilogy. Gordon, the butler, was taking a shower. Todd, the chef, was prepping breakfast. Amanda, the maid, was filing the mail. Hugo, the gardener, said he was planting tomatoes. Who did it?
It was Todd. Mr. Gently was killed in the afternoon, so why was he prepping breakfast?
Jonathan was on trial for the murder of his wife. His lawyer tried one last thing to save him from the death penalty. “I have a surprise witness: his wife! She wasn’t murdered at all. She will walk through those doors right now!” Everybody turned to look, but nobody entered. “If you looked, that means you still have doubts. If you have doubts, you can’t sentence my client to death.” And yet, he was sentenced to death by the jury. Why?
Jonathan didn’t look. He knew his wife was dead.
THIS OR THAT?
Do you know what you like?
Let's find out!
Road to Discovery: Who are You?
- Are you a Middle Schooler or a High Schooler?
Middle Schooler
High Schooler
Others
- Are you an
Introvert
Extrovert
- Are you a Morning or a Night Person?
Morning Person
Night Person
- Are you a Righty or a Lefty?
Righty
Lefty
- Are you an Animal Person?
Yes
No
- Which would you pick?
- Being world-class beauty
A prodigy
Being Famous
- Do you enjoy memes?
Yes
No
Prefer not to answer
What are memes?
Comic: President Election
- Harry Linn (Red 10)